Museums and other things forgotten
by Orcaboi
Summary: Lukas works at a museum while also taking care of his little brother and dealing with the loss of their parents. This is my first fanfic and I write it on my phone... I hope you enjoy! Edit. I'm not going to complete this as there are too many plot holes and other things here, but I will be writing another Norway focused fanfic!
1. chapter 1

It seemed whatever Lukas did, it would never be enough. Every time he caught up doing bills, his little brother would need new clothes. And his work was never satisfactory for the Austrian who seemed to never want to leave his office. His coworkers found his quiet, sarcastic demeanor unfriendly, and most of them ignored him; except Berwald, who had an affinity for restoring old furniture. Then there was Tino, Berwald's husband, who always seemed to be sneaking cookies to Emil while Lukas wasn't Emil to smile on the long days at the museum.

He was lucky his little brother was not a complainer, long days in the archives, and microwave foods almost every night was not great parenting. Lukas did what he could to make each day more enjoyable for his brother. Maybe at lunch he would take Emil to the cafeteria instead of eating leftovers. No matter the case Lukas knew that he was lucky Emil didn't complain.

It was no surprise when Emil finally asked what their parents were like. Lukas had been preparing for years, but when it was time all he could say was, "Mama was an architect and Papa worked at the newspaper. Mama had blue eyes and blonde hair, Papa, I think, he had green eyes and hair like yours," because what else would you say to a kid who had never even said Mama or Papa to their parents? Emil wanted to know more, Lukas knew that, but he already was starting to cry, and instead of saying anything, Emil just hugged his big brother.

"Lukas? I's okay, you don' have to tell me. Don' cry." And so, because his little brother never asked for anything, Lukas willed the tears to stop falling. After they had dried, Lukas knelt down to look his brother in the eye.

"See, Emil, I can't remember them much either." Lukas gave a soft kiss to his brothers forehead before he pulled Emil into another hug. After a moment Emil pulled away, grabbed his stuffed puffin, and went back to his coloring book on the floor.

Lukas wished with all his heart he could remember them more, just a little bit more than what the doctors had told him. He just wanted a few memories to share with Emil, why did Lukas of all people have to have gotten amnesia? How unfortunate was it that he couldn't say anything about his life before the crash?

Lukas was hard at work in the achieves when suddenly Berwald appeared around a corner. Lukas nearly dropped the priceless artifact in his hands when the Swede came into Lukas' line of sight, Lukas put his hand over his heart and could feel it racing. When he looked back up he realized Emil was not where he had left him just moments ago. Lukas looked up at Berwald again who looked uncomfortable to say the least, "Berwald, have you seen Emil?" Lukas spoke calmly, there was no hint of the fear he felt in his voice.

Berwald shook his head, "No I haven't, I was j'st coming down to give ya the new piece. I'm sure he's fine." Lukas couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong, really wrong, so Lukas took the book in Berwald's hands and gently placed it on the examination table,.

"Do ya mind if I check on him, it'll only be a second." Berwald shrugged and Norway walked out of the small room and started going through the aisles, "Emil? Ya in here?" There was no answer. "Emil!" He spoke more harshly now. Now the fear began to really set in when he made it through the entire basement of the museum and there had been no sign of the younger sibling. When Lukas eventually bumped into Tino he had almost given in to the thought that Emil had been kidnapped.

"Lukas!" Emil seemed delighted, he had cookie crumbs on his face and Tino was smiling sheepishly, "Mr. Väinämöinen made some cookies and he gave some to me!"

"Sorry if we scared you, we ran into Ber a little earlier, he said you were looking for Emil," Tino gave a smile and then checked his watch, "Oh dear, I have a tour in five minutes, excuse me, Emil stay with your brother all right?"

"Ok Mr. Väinämöinen. Thank you for the cookies," Emil spoke softly, a trait he had picked up from his older brother.

"Thank you Tino, could you tell me next time you bring Emil with you?" Lukas hoped that he didn't too mean, he appreciated Tino trying to give Emil a more exciting day, but Lukas would have preferred to have known.

"Of course Lukas, I just got a little caught up in the excitement, okay I really need to go now." And with that Tino turned around and started jogging up the stairs. Emil pulled on Lukas' sleeve and looked up at him.

"Lukas? I wanna go home." Lukas was surprised, his little brother had never asked to leave the museum early. Now Lukas knew something was wrong.

"Emil? What's wrong?" Lukas felt lost, his little brother looked upset and in pain. "Emil, please," Lukas begged him when Emil said nothing in response.

"Can we please go home," Emil stated firmly, when Lukas tried to take his hand, Emil pulled his own away.

"Emil…" Lukas knew he could not leave work early, even if his little brother begged him to, "… I can't."

Emil looked up at Lukas, "I don't like him."

Lukas was taken aback, this was so unlike Emil, "Who?"

"Nobody. Lets go home. Please." Emil looked at the ground and seemed to stare a hole into the concrete floor.

"Do you not like Mr. Väinämöinen?" Lukas got down on one knee to look Emil in the eyes.

"No. He's okay. I don' like that new guy. He's creepy." Emil grabbed Lukas's hand and sighed. After a moment Lukas stood up, he felt so unsure of himself. Lukas hadn't learned about a new employee, but of course he usually kept to himself.

"Okay, just this once we can go home e'rly." Lukas had enough sick days he had saved up over the years to at least use one. The only problem was he wouldn't get the overtime he so desperately needed for groceries.

"Lukas?" When Lukas turned around he saw Rodrich, who seemed far less than pleased. His face twisted with a look of disgust, "Where do you think you are going, you still need to categorize the new additions to the collection, not to mention the resorting if the fossils."

Lukas hesitated, his eyes darted quickly to his brother then back to Rodrich. Finally after a moment he spoke, "Emil does not feel well, I am taking him home."

"I need you to talk with the new attendant. He is far too boisterous for any of the others to handle," Rodrich continued, then he lifted his head up higher and closed his eyes, "Lukas if you do not," he shook his head, "I will fire here and now."

After a moment Emil responded, "But Matthias is too loud."

 **Author's note**

 **Hi guys, this is my first fanfic. If you enjoyed it please review and I'll keep writing. I just hope you guys enjoyed!**


	2. 2

Lukas could agree, Matthias was too loud. He was far to loud to be in a museum. Emil slightly glared at the newcomer for a moment.

"Hey! Nice ta meet ya! I'm Matthias!" The blonde haired man grinned widely. Lukas cringed slightly, the noise was a little much for the quieter man. Matthias leaned down to Emil, "What's that you got there?" Matthias gestured to Emil's stuffed puffin.

"A puffin," Emil still was unwilling to speak to the stranger, "my momma got him for me."

Lukas looked down at his younger brother. Emil's one memory of their mother was of that day. Lukas wished he could tell him more about their family.

"Oh really? That's a nice puffin. She must love you a lot!" Matthias grinned. Lukas snapped his head up and glared at the blonde.

"My momma is dead," Emil looked determined, and slightly upset.

Matthias, taken aback was only able to respond with a whispered, "Oh."

Lukas tapped Matthias's shoulder, when he turned around Lukas said, "I'm Lukas, Emil's older brother. I'm supposed to show you around." Lukas hoped that that was a good introduction and he could change the current conversation.

It took a less then a second for Matthias to regain his lost grin, "Well lucky me." Lukas scoffed. "What, something wrong?" Matthias asked quickly. There was a look of worry in his sky blue eyes.

"Flirting is against the rules, sir." Lukas replied sarcastically. Gosh this guy was dim. Lukas got the feeling that this new hire wouldn't last long in the department. At least not if he had a say in it. Lukas turned on his heels and started walking the other way. "These shelves are the archives. The numbers on the top will help you locate which shelf you will need to open. To open them just turn the wheel on the right side of what you need."

"Okay, quick question, how will I know which one I need to open?" Matthias had a suddenly serious look on his face.

"Input an item into the computer over there and it will bring up the shelf number." Lukas turned to look at Matthias before he continued, "If you don't have the exact item you need you can ask Berwald or myself."

"Berwald is the tall scary Swedish guy right?" Matthias smiled. Right then Berwald came up behind Matthias. "He's behind me right?"

Emil laughed and nodded. Lukas gave a soft smile, it had been so long since he had heard Emil laugh. The kid was so serious.

Matthias gave a quick smile before he turned around and screamed loudly. He held his hand up to his mouth in mock surprise. "Ahh! Angry Swede!"

Berwald raised an eybrow as he looked at Lukas. He only shrugged, Emil was laughing wildly.

"He's not angry!" Emil giggled, and clutched his puffin. "You're really loud"

"Am I?" Matthias smiled as he leaned down to Emil again.

Emil nodded, "Too loud."

Lukas stifled a laugh. The blonde's voice did seem to echo through the entire building. Lukas still wasn't a huge fan of the newcomer yet, but maybe he could get used to him.

Berwald waited until Matthias had stopped laughing before asking Lukas, "Who is th's?"

"His name's Matthias," Lukas responded. He felt suddenly very tired, this was more talking then he was used to. He felt a sudden need to just return to his desk and continue on his project quietly. "He's the new hire."

Berwald nodded in response. Emil walked over to his brother and reached up for his hand. When Lukas allowed Emil to hold his hand, Emil ran behind his brother. The air around them seemed to add to the tense feeling in the room. Berwald was looking sternly into Matthias's eyes, while Matthias had lost the friendly look on his face while he glared back at Berwald.

"Wait, do you two… know each other?" Lukas asked shocking the two out of their serious staring contest.

They paid no attention to the question and instead started fighting.

"Ya kn'w ya sho'ldn't be her' Matthi's."

"Why the fuck not?! Its been ages. Maybe I just needed to see!"

"I swe'r to God, ya're bein' st'pid."

"Please don't swear in front of Emil," Lukas tried to speak over the sound of the discourse. It was no use.

"Berwald. Goddamnit! Let me fucking work! I don' need you to boss me around!"

"Well, they clearly know each other," Lukas whispered to Emil.

"Yeah, they do. But I don't think it was good." Emil says quietly from behind the safety of his larger sibling.

"No. Clearly." Lukas pulls Emil a little closer to himself.

Matthias steps a little closer to Berwald. "I don't want to fight. I don't need to get fired the first day I started." Matthias is just a few inches shorter than Berwald, but those few inches make the shorter of the two seem much smaller.

Lukas notes that Berwald is still upset, and there is no improvement when Tino arrives. "Ber? Is that?" Tino asks, his eyes wide. Berwald nods.

"Oh no." Emil whispers. Tino looks even madder than Berwald.

"Why are you here?" Tino hisses through his teeth.

"Tino, I don't want to fight. Plus I think the kid looks a little afraid." Matthias looked sheepishly at Emil who was peeking out from behind his brother.

"Y' idiot. Wh't ya did was stup'd."

Lukas felt he was not quite in a spot to ask what Matthias had done. Besides Lukas was exhausted from the social aspect of the day and the ensuing drama. Emil finally let's his tight grip on Lukas's hand go. Lukas decided that maybe this was the best time to get back to work, if he didn't have to finish this tour... well it would not be un his best intreast. "Excuse me, but I would like to finish introducing Matthias to the rest of the building." After a moment Berwald and Tino walked away. Tino was whispering quickly to Berwald as they walked off. Once Lukas could no longer hear Tino's chattering, Lukas turned back to Matthias.

"Sorry 'bout that, Berwald and I go way back." Matthias flashed a large grin. Lukas rolled his eyes before he continued down the hall. This overenergetic man was clearly not a man who would back away from a fight.

As they walked along the corridor Lukas pointed out key landmarks in the basement. "The kitchen is at the end of the hall. Rodrich has the office and the rest of us work at the tables," Lukas led them into a larger room full of wooden tables with all sorts of diffrent chairs, Berwald's desk is over there by Tino's, he has all the Christmas knick knacks on his desk; the desks filled with paintings belong to the Vargas brothers." Lukas was really ready for his return home.

"So where's my desk?" Matthias's mouth shaped a small "O" and he looked completely confused.

"Just take any empty one, the one over there with the tree is not empty, Kiku is just a neat freak."

 **Authors note**

 **Hi guys I wrote this all on my phone so if there are any mistakes I am sorry. Thank you to those who reveiwed. I hoped you enjoyed. Thank you for reading! Dont worry you guys will get to learn what happened between Ber and Matthias later. I hope the chapters arent too short, I will do my best to write some longer ones in the future. I hope this doesnt seem to rushed! Love you all!**


	3. Chapter 3

Lukas dropped his bag on the table by the front door, a heavy sigh left his lips as he rubbed his forehead gently. After a moment he looked up, his face blank, and walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

The small wooden home had a very Scandinavian feel to it, the entire building was made of a light natural wood. The kitchen was bright and full of light, a dramatic change from the dark of the museum basement. Lukas felt very at peace here.

As he stirred the pot of boiling noodles, Lukas allowed his mind to drift off. The day had been way longer than Lukas had hoped, Rodrich had made Lukas completely redo the organization he had done the day before. Then Emil had asked to get ice cream from the store, across town. But since it has been a long day for the younger sibling, Lukas had agreed. Emil had looked delighted as his licorice ice cream had dripped down his chin.

Emil suddenly ran into the kitchen, covered in glitter glue. "Lukas! Do you think Matthias will like this?" Emil help up a letter written in glitter glue with three small stick figures; the first one had Lukas's hair clip the next had the Dane's crazy hair and the last one had a puffin. It read: u r funy. Emil.

Lukas smiled warmly, "That's great Emil, I think he'll love it. Why did you write him a letter?"

"He was funny." Emil looked up with large eyes.

Lukas still wasn't keen on the newcomer, he was loud, and kept asking too many questions, plus there was the fight between him and Berwald. However, if Emil liked Matthias the least Lukas could do was be considerate. So Lukas gave a polite smile and nodded his head.

That's when he heard the pot over boiling. He rushed over to the pot and turned the stove off. Emil was standing next to him when he placed his hands on the stove to try and see what had happened above.

Emil screamed when his hands touched the hot metal.

Lukas quickly picked his brother up and ran to the fridge to get some ice. As he was scrambling to get it into a towel Emil wiped his nose on Lukas's shoulder. "L-Lukas? My h-hands are p-peeling," Emil stuttered through the tears, he held up his hands for Lukas to see.

Lukas didn't know what to do, the palms of Emil's hands were open. Lukas set Emil down and ran to the bathroom to find Tylenol. After a few moments of rummaging through the cabinets he was successful. He gave Emil the recommended dose and pulled his phone up. After a few moments of frantic searching he discovered he needed to take Emil to the hospital.

Emil was still on the floor trying not to cry, but big tears fell down his face, when he saw Lukas he said, "I-I'm fine Lukas."

Lukas pulled Emil in for a hug, "Can you put your shoes on?" Lukas asked. Emil nodded. After making sure the stove was off Lukas pulled his jacket and shoes on and grabbed his keys. "Emil? We have to go now."

Lukas hated hospitals. He hated the noise, the germs, the long waits, and of course. he hated the memories it brought back. Lukas took a deep breath and followed the nurse into their assigned room.

"The doctor will be with you in a moment," the long brown haired man told them, "I'm Toris, I'll be your nurse okay Emil?"

Emil nodded. Outside there was a sudden loud commotion. Toris looked quickly up but then refocused on Emil's vitals. "Will he be okay?" Lukas asked nervously.

"Yeah, his vitals look fine, but he will probably need to get some bandages and antibiotics, but that's up to Dr. Jones to decide."

Toris wrote something quickly onto a pad of paper before he rushed off into the hallway. After he left Lukas could hear someone yelling in the hall.

"You bloody GIT! You TOOK MY PATIENT! How could you? I trusted you, you twat! I wrote your letter of recommendation for what? You to stab me in the back?"

"Okay dude, its time for you to calm down!"

"I wasn't talking to you Yankee!"

"Mon Cher, please calm down, you will upset the other patients, non?"

"Guys? There isn't really a need to fight. And we have other patients to-" The softer voice was cut off by the others fighting over him. Lukas decided to turn his attention back to Emil.

Emil was focusing on the movie on the TV. It was about a princess with ice powers, that's all Lukas really knew about it. After what seemed like hours Lukas finally closed his eyes, he just needed a minute.

"Knock, Knock!" An overly eager young man with glasses stepped into the room. He gave a big smile before he sat down. "What happened to you buddy?"

"I put my hands on the stove." Emil stated clearly.

"Well, lets take a look at those hands then. I'm Dr. Jones." He picked up both of Emil's hands and studied them carefully. "You just need to keep these bandaged and put some antibiotics on them and they should be fine. These aren't quite drastic enough to do surgery. But these are gonna hurt for a few weeks, don't pop the blisters. Okay?"

Emil nodded and Lukas looked carefully down at his own hands. He felt terrible for this, he should've noticed what Emil was trying to do and stopped it. Dr. Jones was already half way out the room when Lukas looked up to ask a question.

After getting Emil back into his regular clothes Lukas walked up to the nurses station. "I need to pick up a prescription." The nurse didn't reply, he only pointed toward a window that said 'Prescription Pickup'.

When Lukas and Emil made it to the front of the line Lukas gave them the doctors note and then was handed a small bag. "All set have a nice day!"

On the car ride home Emil kept hesitantly touching the bandages. "Lukas? Why is my skin under there all wet?"

"Its how your body protects and cleans itself."

"Oh okay." Emil looked out the window, clutching his puffin with both hands. Lukas glance over, he still felt guilty about the incident with the stove.

"Do you want to get McDonald's?" Lukas asked, he hoped it could make up for the dinner they didn't have. Emil nodded his head excitedly. Lukas gave a small smile and drove up to the drive thru.

After ordering their meal and paying Lukas and Emil ate quickly. Emil gave a big smile as Lukas helped him wipe his face. "Thanks Lukas!" Emil said as Lukas drove back home. Lukas felt slightly better about what had happened.

 **Author's note**

 **Hey guys! Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review I love reading what you guys have to say about it. I was having a bit of a hard time writing this chapter, i just didnt have quite as much insperation as usual so here is a big brother focused chapter. Love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

Mathias seemed to cause havoc where ever he went. When he opened up the new shipment of artifacts to put into storage, he misplaced it; which meant Lukas had to spend an entire afternoon trying to find it. And that meant far too many hours in the company of the noisy Dane.

They carefully checked every shelf and storage area, but so far there was no luck. Lukas was starting to lose hope. Matthias seemed to pick up on this and nudged him slightly, "Hey, you alright?" Lukas nodded before slapping Matthias's arm softly. The space felt suddenly cramped. Lukas took a step back and then turned to the opposite shelf. He felt suddenly nervous. He really just wanted to be left alone again.

Matthias just continued checking the other shelves as Lukas tried to calm himself down. He counted the things he knew; Emil was safe, he was safe, there was no danger. So why did he feel so panicked. He knew that there was some memory he just needed to remember. The sense of Déjà vu was too strong to just ignore. That smile, he knew that smile, but from where?

Emil interrupted Lukas's train of thought, "Lukas? You look worried," Emil stated with that honesty only small children seemed to have. Lukas looked up and stared at his younger brother. It seemed his clothes were already being outgrown, his face was covered in chocolate, and his puffin needed a wash. Lukas pulled a wet wipe pack from his pocket and wiped Emil's face harshly, trying to keep Emil still, but failing. After Lukas was satisfied that Emil was clean, Lukas stood back up and smiled down at Emil. Emil only looked back up and glared slightly, "I can wash my own face, I'm not a baby," Emil ran off.

Lukas felt slightly hurt, that was very unlike Emil. Matthias had come up behind Lukas, and when he placed his hand on his shoulder, Lukas reacted. "OW!" Matthias yelled when Lukas elbowed him in the face.

Lukas turned around, but kept his face blank, "Ya shouldn't sneak up on people." Lukas walked off down the hallway while Matthias looked on. The Dane looked almost envious as he watches the Norwegian stalked off down the hallway.

"Holy, shit he's still as gorgeous as I remember," Matthias muttered under his breath as he returned to his work.

Lukas of course, did not hear this comment as he walked off to find Tino. "Tino? I need your help," Lukas said as he walked over to Tino's desk.

"Mhm." Tino nodded absentmindedly.

"Tino!" Lukas whispered.

"Oh, yes, sorry Lukas!" Tino snapped back to reality, "I was just busy with my new tour script."

"I need your help."

"What can I do for you?"

"Emil was being rude to me earlier, any ideas?" Lukas said seriously.

"Its probably just him testing his limits, what was he rude about."

"He told me he can wash his face himself."

Tino chuckled slightly before he noticed Lukas glaring at him, "Lukas, this is pretty normal for his age. He wants to be more independent."

Lukas understood that, he just wished that Tino hadn't laughed at him, and that Emil had been less sassy. And that Matthias, who he could clearly hear behind him, would stop breathing against the back of his neck. Lukas quickly turned around and pulled at Matthias's tie, "Don't do that," Lukas spoke harshly with a slight glare.

The Dane looked exactly like a kicked puppy, his blue eyes wide, his face displayed a look of absolute sadness. Lukas let go of his tie and Matthias stood back up. "I'm sorry Lukas! I didn't mean to bother ya, I was just hoping you could help me with something." Matthias laughed slightly and scratched the back of his head, "I left a book downstairs, and I need help finding it."

Lukas raised an eyebrow before he started walking to the staircase, Matthias followed behind silently. Lukas hated the dark, he didn't mind the archives or the workrooms, as they were brightly lit; the basement however was a different story all together, the lights we're unpredictable and could turn off at any moment. Lukas grabbed one of the flashlights that had been left on a shelf, it felt heavy in his hands. Matthias stopped for a moment before he looked at Lukas again, he smiled and gave a slight wink. Lukas rolled his eyes, but he knew that he had known Matthias before he came to work at the museum.

"What book are we looking for?"

"A book of fairytales."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"What author?"

"Hans Christian Andersen, I love the little mermaid." Matthias grinned, as they reached the last step.

The basement was relatively empty, it mostly held a few odds and ends that the museum used for maintenance. There was a vacuum, a few pieces of plywood, a large replica of a painting, a few scattered boxes, and a bookshelf full of old folktales. Lukas had read quite a few of them when he wasn't too busy with something else. He loved the old Norse myths and Norwegian fairytales, but he had never read H.C. Andersen. He decided he would ask Matthias if he could borrow the book after him.

Matthias walked over to the book shelf and ran his hands against the books as he mouthed out the names of the covers. Lukas held the flashlight and started to scan the books from a distance. He felt slightly awkward standing behind Matthias, but he also didn't want to get in the way. Today had been filled with to many incidents involving the Dane. So Lukas stood back and started toying with his curl. It seemed like no matter what it would just not lay flat. As he started pressing the curl against his head in a hope to flatten it, the lights went off. Lukas switched on the flashlight, but it didn't work, he banged it against his hand a few times, but the light still remained off.

"You okay Lukas?" Matthias asked in the dark.

"What do you think? I'm fine." Lukas snapped, he really hated the dark, it reminded him of that night when…. Lukas shook his head. "Do you think you can find the door?" Lukas asked.

"Yeah. I think I can," Matthias could be heard stumbling around in the pitch black room. Lukas started to feel panicked, he didn't know where Emil was, he was stuck in a dark room and with the most overly optimistic Dane he had ever met. "Don't worry Lukas, I'll find a way out, so you just sit down while I try to find the door!" Lukas heard a loud crash. "IM FINE!" Matthias yelled.

Lukas rolled his eyes, glad no one could see him. He rung his hands against the coolness of the flash light. He tried to switch the flashlight on again, to no avail.

 **Authors note:** **sorry for the late update, Ive been super busy. Please review if you liked this chapter! love you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

The whole basement put Lukas on edge, his eyes were slightly getting used to the darkness. Lukas hadn't been in the basement enough to actually remember the way out. And it didn't help that the door closed after them so there was no light coming from the hallway. Lukas knew Emil would be fine, he was probably with Tino, but Lukas was stuck with the last person he would want to be in a dangerous situation with.

Not the he hated Matthias, but it seemed that the Dane wouldn't make the smartest choices in a life or death situation. Which was proved when he heard the Dane yell, "I FOUND A BATTLEAXE!"

"Put it down you idiot," Lukas said sternly, still trying to figure out the direction of the door.

"Awww, come on Luck!" Matthias yelled.

"Luck?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname. Do you hate it?"

"Yes," Lukas groaned.

"You're just being grumpy. Come on we'll be fine. Besides-"

Lukas decided to tune out the obnoxious man and instead started walking forward with his arms extended, searching for any sign of a wall.

"Lukas, I found a flash light!" Suddenly there was a bright beam of light. Matthias looked up smugly, "Told ya, we'd be fine."

Lukas grabbed the flashlight out of Matthias's hands and walked over to the bookshelf where he instantly located the book. Lukas ran his hands against the cover of the book, "I remember this."

"You do?" Matthias perked up, "What do you remember about it?"

"Just, it." Lukas turned and shoved the book into Matthias's arms and walked towards the door. As they walked up the stairs, Lukas left the working flashlight on the staircase and placed the other one in a box full of flashlights to be fixed.

"Lukas? Do you remember anything from before the crash?"

"No, only what the doctors told me." Lukas walked away and went off to find Emil.

Then he stopped, Lukas had never even mentioned the crash to Matthias. How would he know. Instead of rushing off to find his brother, Lukas ran to Mr. Edelstein. "Did you tell Matthias about me?" Lukas asked coldly, his eyes seemed almost grey, like ice. Rodrich stood up and brushed his overly fancy coat off.

"No, why would you think that, Lukas?" Rodrich replied sarcastically. "Do I tell everyone in this office about their coworkers lives? No. So Lukas, please excuse yourself from my office before I fire you." Rodrich spoke haughtily, and his Austrian accent annoyed Lukas to no end, but he didn't want to risk his job.

Lukas left the room and closed the door quickly behind him, he had a strong dislike of the narcissistic Austrian. Outside he bumped into Tino, who fell backwards when Lukas ran into him, literally.

"Oof!" Tino exclaimed as he hit the unforgiving concrete.

Lukas stood awkwardly above his friend, "Do you need something?" Lukas asked. Tino shook his head and dusted himself off.

"No, but Emil is looking for you, I think his bandages need changing, he spilled some juice on them." Tino smiled warmly. "Where were you? I couldn't find you anywhere."

"I was in the basement, sorry. I have to go find Emil." Lukas started to walk off.

"He should be over near your desk!" Tino yelled after Lukas. He gave a tight smile once Lukas had vanished from view. "Oh Matthias, why'd you do it?"

Lukas found Emil at his desk, the Vargas brothers could be heard yelling about the newest Renaissance painting the museum had gotten. There seemed to be no end to the bickering.

Emil was trying to draw a picture, but the bandages were making it pretty impossible for him. Kiku was sitting with Emil and drawing some small cartoons next to him. They seemed pretty calm and content, until Yao Wang, Kiku's overly protective parent barged in with the rest of their kids. It seemed that Emil got along with Leon, the youngest of the family.

Yao was a very energetic person who was deeply proud of their son who worked in a museum.

"Please, I have work to do, I need peace, oh please don't touch that." Kiku was a mess as he tried to heard his family back towards the door, when they finally left Kiku bowed slightly and returned to his desk.

Lukas looked back down at his younger sibling who looked a little frazzled by the boisterous group that had just come through. "Lukas? I spilled some juice and I need some new mummy wrappings."

Lukas chuckled, "Mummy wrappings?"

Emil became slightly defensive, "Yeah they look like the mummy wrappings from the Egypt section."

"Yeah, they do don't they?" Lukas agreed and Emil nodded his head. Lukas grabbed a new roll of the gauze out and he unwrapped Emil's hands. Emil hissed slightly as the bandages peeled away from his skin. They didn't look any better from a few days ago. Lukas put some more cream on Emil's hands then rewrapped them.

Matthias entered the room just as Lukas stood back up. The Dane smiled brightly at the Norwegian. Lukas looked away, slightly annoyed by their earlier conversation. Where had Matthias even found out about the crash, as Lukas started to over think he was interrupted by Berwald.

"Ya ok'y? He asked sincerely, which still sounded extremely daunting coming from him.

Lukas nodded his head slightly. That wasn't a good enough answer so Berwald continued to stand by Lukas awkwardly. Lukas ended up getting stuck in his head, had he mentioned the crash? If he didn't who did? There were too many questions filling his head all of the sudden.

Berwald placed his hand on Lukas's shoulder, "L'kas. Bre'the. It's oka'." Lukas turned around and nodded, he took a deep breath and adjusted his hair clip.

"Thanks Berwald." Lukas turned back to Matthias, "How do you know about my accident?"

"Uhh…." Matthias looked lost, "I think someone mentioned it?"

"Bullshit."

"I uh-"

"Matthias is just incredibly nosey." Tino interrupted Matthias. Tino glared slightly at Matthias as he continued, "Ber and I were talking about the crash a few days ago with Emil. Emil had wondered what had happened and why he couldn't remember it."

"I don't remember that!" Emil yelled, "I already know about the crash from the doctors. I have anesia!" Emil spoke proudly.

"Tino don't lie to me. How does Matthias know about the crash?" Lukas spoke harshly. He scanned the room around him, everyone looked sheepish and worried. "If no ones going to be honest I guess I'll leave." Lukas grabbed his coat and turned to Emil and started helping Emil pick his stuff up. Lukas grabbed his messenger bag and filled it with papers, "I'll finish this at home." He said as he walked out the door, Emil following behind him.

Lukas felt the cold air hit his face as he left the building, and he suddenly felt so alone. "Lukas? Why are you so angry?"

"I don't know."

 **Authors note** **Hi guys! its been a hectic week and ive been working on this off and on, so sorry for the late update. I hope this fits together as i had some trouble with writers block. Thank you for reading, love you all. please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Emil and Lukas stood waiting for the bus. The salty air stinging their faces as the wind whipped around them. Lukas turned and zips Emil's jacket. Emil tried to pull away but Lukas doesn't pay any attention to the protests. After the coat is zipped and Emil's gloves have been put on Lukas turns to look back down the road. Its still empty and the light dusting of snow make the two shiver slightly as another gust of wind came off the ocean.

The white bus rolls up to the nearly empty station, Lukas taps his card twice against the register then heads to the back of the bus. The bus is almost completely empty except for a man with an umbrella wearing a lab coat. Emil takes a seat near the window and Lukas sits beside him. It takes a moment before the bus lazily pulls away from the stop. Lukas looks out the window, only to see Matthias running after them.

Lukas turns away from him. It doesn't take long for the bus to leave Matthias behind. After a moment Lukas starts to think about the past few hours. Getting locked in the basement, dealing with Matthias's and his excessiveness, getting in a fight with Tino, and the while thing about Matthias and the car crash. Lukas really just wants a break from all of the drama. He hated that he knows that he's forgetting something. But what?

When they arrived at their stop Emil had fallen asleep, so Lukas shook him slightly, "Hey," Emil yawned but stood up quickly. The brothers walked off the bus and started to head home. Emil occasionally bent down to pick up some small stones and then throw them down the path.

Lukas followed him silently, holding Emil's hand whenever he had strayed to close to the road. When the two arrived home, the home that they had gotten from their parents who had had it built, they took off their coats and kicked off their shoes. Lukas walked over to his desk and started on his paperwork, he couldn't bring any priceless artifacts home from the museum, so he would have some time to catch up.

It took a moment for Lukas to calm down enough to read the writing in front of him. His eyes stung with tears, and the worst part was he didn't know why he felt like this. It seemed like whatever resolve he had had to stay grounded, he had lost it. What was it about Matthias that was tearing him apart? Why did the Dane seem so familiar?

The next few hours were spent busily filling out documents and writing up new reports. Emil had buried himself with his crayons on the floor next to Lukas.

Lukas was used to memories occasionally showing up, it was normal, in fact the doctors loved it when he had remembered some old "lost" memory. Of course they were usually only fragments, pieces. This one was no different, only it was, this one contained a person far too familiar. Matthias. Lukas couldn't hear what he was saying, but Matthias was scratching the back of his head, blushing. He was clearly saying something to Lukas, but Lukas couldn't read his lips, and just like that, it was over.

Lukas shook his head, he needed to concentrate on work, not whatever Matthias was doing. Or had done. Anyway, whatever it was it had happened a while ago. Emil had noticed that Lukas had stopped working, "Lukas?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm bored, can I go outside?"

"Sure, be careful."

Emil quickly grabbed his stuffed puffin and ran outside. Lukas went back to work slowly and meticulously filling out his paperwork. It took several hours of deliberate and careful work, the entire time Lukas felt his hand was going to fall off.

After he had finished, Lukas stood up to look outside. Emil was happily dumping his puffin into a slush puddle. Emil was no cleaner, mud was caked to his face and coat.

"Emil! Come on inside now!" Lukas called through the window. Emil rushed in quickly.

"Can we have chicken nuggets?" Emil asked.

"Wash up first, then we can think about it."

"Okay!" Emil ran off to the bathroom, after a few moments Lukas could hear the bath running.

Lukas pulled the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets from the freezer and put them on a baking sheet.

When Emil ran downstairs in his pjs, Lukas pulled the chicken nuggets from the oven.

"Thank you Lukas!" Emil smiled as he grabbed his plate and sat down at the table. Lukas sat next to him, Emil talked about his day, and how Mr. Puffin had found a brand new world. Lukas listened, he felt so peaceful. Even if Mr. Puffin needed a wash as soon as Emil fell asleep.

When Lukas had put Emil in bed, he decided to look at Matthias's social media. Lukas wanted to know who this guy was, why he was familiar.

It didn't take long to find out why.

 **Authors note:** **Hey you all, sorry for the super late update, I just got a little stuck. Hopefully you all like it! I know this chapter is super short, but I wanted to post something before I leave for camp. Please guys, any comments really motivate me to write a little more, so if you can please do. Love you all hope you enjoyed.**


	7. Chapter 7

There were dozens of pictures of Lukas and Matthias together, holding hands, Matthias kissing Lukas's cheek, one of Lukas looking out at the ocean, Matthias and Emil on a rollercoaster, and one with Matthias walking through the museum with Tino, Berwald and Lukas. Then, there were the more recent posts.

"Lukas and Emil are in the hospital, but Mr. and Mrs. Bondevik have passed away. I just wanted you guys to know that Lukas and Emil are stable. Please send some love their way!"

Lukas could feel his eyes prick with tears, there were pictures of Lukas in the hospital, one where Lukas was in PT. Then another update that simply read, "He doesn't remember me. The doctors say with time he will. I'm sure he will, and I promise to help him and Emil recover completely. Thank you all for your kind words."

Lukas slammed the computer shut. Every word felt like it had pierced some hole in his memory, he had no recollection of Matthias. None. He barely even remembered his parents. Why hadn't Matthias just told the truth? It was so utterly frustrating. After a moment Lukas decided to check in on Emil. He poked his head in the door. Lukas said softly, "Emil are you awake?" A small groan was the only reply. Satisfied that his brother was okay Lukas returned to his room. Quickly pacing his room, questioning his memories that he did have, Lukas wondered why he didn't have any recollection of Matthias. Clearly Matthias knew him, so why couldn't Lukas even remember Matthias visiting him in the hospital. Sure, his memories there were vague, almost nonexistent, but how could he forger someone who was such a big part of his life before the accident.

Collecting his thoughts, Lukas slipped into his bed and flicked the light off, he sat there a few moments before sleep overtook him.

Across town Matthias was nursing a bottle of beer as the bartender, Ludwig, cleaned another glass while frowning at Matthias. Matthias just chalked that up to the fact that it wasn't his first or even second beer of the night, probably his fourth or fifth. Lars, was ever so discretely eating (what Matthias assumed) a pot brownie. Of course, it was very obvious to whoever walked up to the Dutch man that he was extremely high. The bar was deathly silent, as Lars and Matthias were the last customers of the night. Everyone was silent, and one could feel the awkwardness in the room. Ludwig was the one to break the silence, "Matthias, I think that's enough for tonight," Matthias set down his beer, "You should head home, Lars, if you are aware enough to do so please call a cab."

Lars glared but did as he had been instructed. As Lars dialed the number, Matthias slammed his bottle onto the counter top. "Seriously, you know damn well I can handle a drink or two," Slurred Matthias. He swayed slightly as he stood up to fight (an unwise decision) Ludwig, who was much larger and far more sober than Matthias was at the moment. Lars stuck his pipe in his mouth as he fidgeted with the lighter. Ludwig and Matthias eyed each other. "So, give," Matthias hiccupped, "me another beer, please."

"At least you still act polite," Ludwig muttered before he helped Matthias and Lars to the door, "Lars, please don't bring weed into my establishment again, I cannot stand the smell." Lars waved his hand absentmindedly. He finally lit his pipe, and the nasty odor filled the air around them, "I will not hesitate to call the police on you Lars," Ludwig spoke harshly then headed back into the bar.

"You know Matthias, maybe you should stop."

"Stop what, what am I supposed to stop?"

"Being in love with him."

"Stop being in love with," Matthias hiccupped, "with the best person on the planet? How am I supposed to do that?"

Lars muttered something under his breath. When the cab arrived the two slid into the backseat silently. Neither one dared to break the silence until they arrived to Matthias's apartment. "I'll see you tomorrow, remember to drink some water." Matthias waved a hand at Lars before he walked drunkenly to the front door of the complex.

Lars watched to make sure Matthias made it inside before he told the cabbie his address.

Inside the apartment Matthias groaned loudly as he opened the door to the fridge, he didn't feel very hungry, but something told him he should eat something. After deciding a sandwich would do he sat on the couch and began flicking through the channels, deciding on a terrible horror movie Matthias dug into his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It was a movie he had watched with Lukas, and even if Lukas couldn't remember him, Matthias was damn sure he could remember Lukas. Lukas had groaned throughout the entire movie, pointing out plot holes and mistakes. Matthias wished that Lukas was here, maybe he could remember if Matthias tried to remind him, but he remembered the look on Lukas's face when he introduced himself. Lukas didn't remember anything, not even that Matthias had proposed the day before the crash.

The next day Lukas woke to a phone being pressed in his face, while Emil kept saying "ITS FOR YOU THEY SAID ITS IMPORTANT!"

Lukas lazily grabbed the receiver and pressed it to his face, "Hello?" he spoke groggily.

"Yes, Lukas it's me, Tino, are you coming in to work today?"

Checking his watch Lukas replied, "No, it's Sunday, I have Sunday and Monday off remember?" Lukas said a little harshly.

"Oh, oh right, well Ber and I want to talk to you about something, do you think you could come over tonight for dinner? Ber can make Swedish meatballs. Or I can make something else…"  
"Fine." Lukas hung up and pressed his face back into the pillows, he needed his coffee, his usual rule was 'Do not speak to me unless I've consumed three cups of coffee.' Emil knew this well, and was handing Lukas a cup of hot coffee. Lukas gave a slight smile before taking a sip, it appeared that Emil had switched the sugar and salt up. Lukas chocked it down and nodded. "Thank you, Emil."

Emil grinned and ran out of the room, his puffin already had coffee stains on it… Lukas groaned, that puffin really needed to get washed. He glanced at the calendar. Tomorrow was the two-year anniversary of the crash, he would need to get some flowers. Lukas sighed slightly before he headed downstairs and made himself another cup of coffee (and taking a mental note to label the sugar and salt). That's when the doorbell rang.


	8. Chapter 8

"Yes, who is it?" Lukas called monotonously.

There was no response the doorbell just rang again. After a moment of silence Lukas stood up to answer, there on the porch stood an astonishingly tall man. His spiked up hair and menacing look only made Lukas regret opening the door, this didn't seem like a good idea.

"You're Lukas."

"Who's asking?"

"A friend."

"HA!" Lukas slammed the door behind him and returned to his mug, he took out his phone and started sorting through the mess that is politics. The doorbell rang again.

"If you don't leave, I will call the police do you understand?" Lukas yelled from his stool. There was no answer so Lukas decided to walk over and peek through the window. The man was still standing there. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

"About what?" Lukas questioned sternly.

"Matthias."

"Get out, now. Do not come back here again." Lukas growled.

Lukas turned from the door and flipped the man off through the floor to ceiling window that was right next to the doorway. He was sick of all these questions that kept being brought up, he needed some time and space and he really regretted agreeing to seeing Tino and Berwald. He started to wonder how upset they would be if he cancelled. He felt like his world was spinning, he was losing whatever sort of control he had over his life, it was ruining him. He just wanted his memories back, it had been almost two years, why couldn't he remember. Why was Matthias still trying to meet with him? He felt abandoned somehow. Whether it was by himself or his family, he had lost something, and he was struggling to regain it. He collapsed to his knees and started sobbing. All the emotions he had kept inside rolled out of him in fat tears, he couldn't handle this, not taking care of his brother, the bills were piling up, he was suffering. Nothing was working, nothing. Not his job, his degree, his family, nothing. Lukas had lost 5 years of his life to his absent memory, and he barely even remembered Emil. So why was he tasked with all of this, why? Who even was Matthias to him? Why was he forced to deal with all of this? And why couldn't he remember the man who clearly had played a large part of Lukas's life before the accident?

Emil came in a few moments later as Lukas was starting to regain his composure. "Lukas?" Emil asked as he peered in from behind the stairs.

Lukas wiped his tears on his sleeve and turned to his younger brother. "Yes, Emil. What do you need?"

"My bandages are gross." Emil stuck his hands out to show Lukas. Lukas nodded before he went to the bathroom to grab some more gauze from under the sink. He took Emil's left hand into his own and used his thumb and pointer finger on his other hand to pick up the end of the bandage. He worked slowly so as not to hurt Emil too much. As soon as Emil's hand was uncovered Lukas applied the cream the doctor had prescribed and rewrapped it and then repeated the process with the other hand. "Thank you, Lukas!" Emil smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before he ran off to play again.

Lukas decided that that had been enough emotion for him today and that a book sounded to be just the right thing for him to do before they left to go to Tino's. He needed a distraction.

A few hours later and Lukas was taking a shower before he and Emil left. As he applied shampoo to his hair, he could remember someone else doing this to him, kind gentle hands scrubbing his head as Lukas leaned into the person behind him. He felt at peace for a moment, the memory was comforting, and he felt at a loss as it faded away. He rinsed his hair and got out, roughly towel drying his hair before blow drying it. He picked out a nice sweater and a pair of slacks. The wool sweater would need an undershirt under it, otherwise it would irritate Lukas to no end.

After Lukas was finished getting ready he went to check on Emil. Emil was sitting with Mr. Puffin and reading a fairytale aloud to himself. Emil stumbled over the words and it was the cutest thing Lukas had seen in ages. He decided to just watch for a moment before he interrupted to get Emil ready.

"And so th-the p-rice went to go find the ivel dragin. The ivel dragin had a hord of gold and the p-riceess was locked in the tower!" Emil read aloud from the book. Lukas could almost laugh, the kid had way better grammar talking then he did reading. Emil continued trying to sound out the words as he read along, always stumbling over Prince and Princess.

"Emil?" Lukas knocked slightly on the door as Emil finished the story with a dramatic slap of the book on the table. "Its time to get ready, can you put on your nice shirt?"  
"Yeah, but I don't like the buttons." Emil said as he grabbed the shirt Lukas had set on the bed earlier.  
"Do you want me to help?"

"No, not really." Emil said as he started to undress.

"Okay, just come downstairs when you're all done alright?" Lukas smiled, he loved his little brother so much, and he hoped he was doing an alright job of taking care of him.

Lukas started to pack a small dinner for Emil, who was a classic picky eater, just in case Tino and Berwald's cooking was up to par. A protein bar, and apple and a small smoothie in a sippy cup were all placed delicately into a paper bag.

A few pounding steps rang throughout the house as Emil ran downstairs; he placed his bandaged hands on the counter and tried to peek over at what Lukas was doing. "Be careful Emil, I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I won't I'll be careful I promise Lukas!" Emil smiled sweetly, "Can I have a pudding cup?"

"Absolutely not. We are going to Mr. Väinämöinen and Mr. Oxenstierna's house, and they are being very nice and making dinner for us. So be polite, okay?"

"Yes Lukas, but can I have a pudding cup after dinner?"

"Maybe, they might have made dessert."

"I hope it's nothing yucky." Emil stuck his tongue out. Lukas thought about the weird and slightly disgusting foods Emil enjoyed, fermented shark, dried fish, lambs head, and a few other atrocities that he had enjoyed when they visited Iceland last summer. Emil had asked Lukas to prepare a few of the foods and Lukas had obliged. Lukas couldn't stand the fermented shark, but the dried fish reminded him of something, just a tinge of a memory.

"We can find you something okay? And I packed an apple and a smoothie okay?"

"Fine. But I want noodles if there isn't anything yummy there."

"We'll see." Lukas turned back to the paper sack in front of him. He handed it to Emil and said, "Go get your coat on, okay?"

Emil nodded and dashed off to the coat rack, Lukas checked the bus times once more just to make sure they wouldn't be late. Five minutes till the next bus would arrive, Lukas quickly put on his coat and shoes, grabbed Emil's hat and mittens and dashed outside with Emil following him.

They reached the bus stop just on time, and Lukas and Emil hopped on while Lukas swiped his bus card. The driver waved them too the back and they sat down. Emil played happily with his toy as the bus started off. Lukas felt exhausted already.

 **AAHHHH! I'm so sorry for the late update, I've been way too busy and typing on my phone takes way too long, so I finally got a computer thank goodness. I hope you enjoyed and feel free to comment on anything you aren't sure of. I wish you all joy! Happy late holidays!**


	9. Chapter 9

When Lukas and Emil arrived at Tino and Berwald's apartment, Tino burst out of the door and greeted the pair warmly. "Are you all right?" Tino whispered to Lukas as Emil took off his coat. Lukas looked at Tino out of the corner of his eye.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I know this whole Matthias thing has been tough on you. Mr. Edelstien has been a hassle, raising Emil..."  
"I'm fine Tino, thank you for inviting us to dinner." Lukas handed Tino a bottle of wine. Tino looked a bit taken aback but accepted the gift and led them to the dinner table. Berwald looked more stern than usual, if that was possible. In fact, the dinner table almost seemed like a conference table. Suddenly Lukas felt trapped. They were worried, and so was Lukas, Emil was blissfully unaware of the tension in the room. Instead he walked over to Berwald and shoved the stuffed puffin in his face.  
"Will you play with me Mr. Oxenstierna?"  
"S're." He gave a faint smile to Tino and rose from the table. This left Tino and Lukas alone in the dining room.

"Dinner should be ready in about a half an hour, but there is something I want to talk to you about Lukas."

"Tino…" Lukas started.  
"No we kept this from you for too long," Tino said sternly, almost menacingly, "Lukas, you know Matthias. Thing is he…"

"Yes, he was my boyfriend I have no recollection of, and I don't want to discuss it."

"Look, we need to tell you otherwise things will just get worse," Tino spoke, and Lukas figured it was better to let him explain than to just keep interrupting. "Berwald and I knew for years before you ever met Matthias. We were your best friends. When Matthias showed up, you just… Matthias is a light, his positivity, his outgoing personality, it drew you to him. Ber and I always wondered how the two of you got along so well, you guys are polar opposites. Now, don't get me wrong, you guys had your scuffles, you'd get annoyed by his insensitivity, he could be too much for you, but he always wanted to be there for you. You loved him, and he loved you. Now Ber and Matthias, they have their disagreements, and Ber and Matthias ended up in a big fight, but when you were around, well Matthias wouldn't bring it up. He wanted you to be happy. He spent so many hours planning special things for you. A bouquet of roses he had picked himself, a date to see an opera, oh and he got tickets for you to go see that museum. Sometimes, you would blow him off, a long day of work or a fight with your parents, those were things that would make you angry. Not him, he would just take whatever you were upset with, and he stood by and supported you. And you did the same with him. If he ever had one two many drinks or ended up in a fight with some German in the bar, you would clean him up, and make sure he was okay. You guys depended on each other for everything. Both of you would go out of your way to make sure the other was okay. I mean you two had moved in together, Matthias wanted to get a cat. You guys were so happy. The night of the crash, he had taken you out to this fancy five star restaurant, and he made this big speech about how much he loved you and how he couldn't imagine not having you around in his life, and he pulled out a little ring, a ring with some Viking knots worked onto it. And Lukas you said yes. I know you can't remember anything about it but Lukas, he really does love you.

'I have the ring here somewhere… just a second," Tino walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a little envelope. "After the accident he came to visit you, but you couldn't remember him, and you pushed him away, Emil and you, you two closed out the world, but Matthias was persistent, he visited every day, helped you in physical therapy. But after a while he realized you needed to be left alone, he thought some time would help you remember. But it didn't. So he figured he would just have to come up with some way to get into your life again. He interviewed at the museum, against Berwald's, his friend Lars's and my own requests. We thought it wasn't right. We all thought you needed more time, but again Matthias was insistent on being in your life somehow. All he wants is to be with you, and he's ruining himself trying to be a part of your life. I know this is a lot to take in but I needed to tell you, and I didn't know if you wanted Emil to be around." Tino sucked in a deep breath as he finished.

Lukas sat for a few moments trying to compose himself, he didn't appear to be falling apart but it felt like his world had crumbled around him. He couldn't seem to think, just… "I'm engaged, I'm engaged, I'm engaged," as he stared at the ring Tino had placed into his hands. Matthias, Matthias had given Lukas a ring. Matthias loved Lukas, and Lukas had no recollection of it. Emil and Berwald came back into the room and Tino had brought in the Swedish meatballs. Emil was happy, he ate every bite that was put on his plate without complaining. Lukas ate, but he couldn't focus on the conversation, instead he was still trying to wrap his hands around what he had just been told. This didn't make any sense. It did make sense, it all fit together, but it didn't make sense at the same time. Lukas got up from the table, making the dishes on it clatter as he stood. "I'm going to go outside, I need a minute."

Emil looked at his brother with a questioning glance. Lukas felt guilty, but he needed to find a way to reach out to Matthias. Maybe to work up the courage to speaking to him at work the next week. Tino and Berwald didn't seem surprised, instead they simply told Emil, "Its fine, don't worry."

When he got to the porch he fumbled in his pocket for a stick of gum, something to do while he tried to untangle his thoughts. He knew he was unlikely to regain his memory, but he suddenly wished with his whole self he could just have something to look back on, not just sudden moments and silent movies. He wanted to have the emotion behind those moments, the words, the feelings. And he had lost it, and somehow he had lost Matthias.


	10. Chapter 10

The fresh bouquets had cost too much, that much Lukas knew. Emil had wanted them, saying he wanted to get Mom and Dad pretty flowers. Lukas caved quickly. Usually they would buy a flower or two to bring, but this year Lukas had too much on his mind to argue with Emil over flowers. So, when they placed the flowers on the headstones, Lukas was mentally calculating how to earn the money to buy Emil some more clothes.

The thought of more clothes only made it worse, Lukas was still behind on the utility bills and mortgage, and then there was the cost of food… it was all too much.

Emil pulled on Lukas's hand, "Can we go to the park?" The good thing was it snapped Lukas out of his downward spiral, the bad thing was Lukas had to say no.

"We can't Emil, we have to go to our doctor appointment."

"The guy who gives you sad pills?" Emil was referring to Lukas's anti-depressants, but sad pills was the best description Lukas had been able to give Emil. Lukas nodded and the two walked hand-in-hand to the bus stop. Emil was so blissfully unaware of the weight that was pressing down on Lukas.

The bus ride was short, and after Emil and Lukas talked to their respective psychiatrists, they returned home. And on the front step was a letter.

"Lukas,

This is Matthias. I'm sorry about this letter, but I wanted to explain myself. Lars told me he visited you yesterday and I just want to say that wasn't fair. I should give you more time to heal, but its been a year and I wanted to tell you something. I love you; I haven't stopped loving you. I know that getting a job at your museum was a stupid idea, but that's something you used to love, my stupid silly, over-enthusiastic ideas. You can't remember that of course. But I love you, and I want to try and show you that. You used to love me, and I want so badly to try again, from the beginning. I would do anything you wanted, I would take you to that museum again, we could travel anywhere, do anything. Please let me try?

Matthias."

Lukas thought it was sweet, but he had a life. A life that didn't allow for frivolity. He had to get Emil into kindergarten, pay the bills off and sell his house. Lukas was different, and he wasn't ready for a love life, he needed to remember first.

 **Author's Note: Hi guys, think this is going to be the end of this story as I lost inspiration and the plot was bothering me. So stay tuned for a different Norway-focused fanfic! Hope you guys enjoyed and let me know if you have anything you want to share!**


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